It’s easy to get so caught up in everything that you forget the life that you want, isn’t it? You think about what you should do, what others want you to do, what you need to do. Today, however, I’m here to let you know that it’s okay to be an advocate for yourself! I want to help you create the life you WANT.
I’m not here to tell you how to live your life. But, if you’re feeling trapped and this isn’t the life you envisioned then this is for you! The change really starts with yourself. You’re in charge of your future, your happiness, the life you’ve created. If something isn’t how you want it to be, then it’s within your power to change that. You could wait for your “perfect life” to fall into your lap, but that might not happen. It’s not that it couldn’t happen, it’s just that if really want something, then you should go get it. Here are 10 ways to create the life you want:
1. Envision the life you WANT
What is the life that you want? Everyone has a different picture in their mind! If you’re not sure what you’re wanting, take the time to think about what makes you happy and how that is translating into your everyday life.
Maybe something used to make you happy, but now it’s time to change directions. It’s totally possible to have a passion fizzle out. Maybe you really enjoyed taking nature photography and now you’re just doing it to the pay the bills. Sure nature photography may have really made you happy at first, but people change. If you’re not feeling the spark of passion or creativity that initially attracted and excited you and you’re dreading every moment of it now, maybe it’s time for a change.
Don’t let the identity that you’ve created for yourself thus far trap you in your ways. You can reinvent yourself no matter your age or history. You can always pursue new paths and discover new passions.
2. Be Ready to Defend Your Decisions
The people you love in your life, of course, want the best for you. You may even be concerned about what other people in the world are going to think. If during your reflecting you’ve realized that the life you want involves making a bold decision like quitting your salary job, you may get some backlash. Even doing something as relatively small as starting a side-hustle or moving to somewhere new can spark concern in others.
If you’re feeling stuck and you want to break free, you should really focus on yourself. It may sound selfish, but living your life according to how others think you should is not the path to happiness. Following the path others think you should take can also lead to miss opportunities, regrets, and even resentment.
Trust in your decisions. Know that these concerns that others have are because they have your best interest in mind. Some of these concerns may even valid, but they don’t need to control the future course of your life. They don’t have to stop you from seeking what you really desire.
3. Don’t let the past determine your future
Your past decisions don’t have to determine your future. You can always start over! Like I said in 1, reinventing yourself is possible and can even be beneficial. You could discover something you’re really good at, or passionate about, or that really connects with other people. If you let your past failures or successes determine what you do in the future, you could miss out on some amazing opportunities.
Instead, fuel the fire of now. What sparks your passion right now? Find what makes you happy and motivated and then add more of it into your life every day. Keep your momentum and determination to create the life you want going and don’t forget your goals.
4. Plan How to Get There
When you know what your goal is and what makes you happy, it’s time to plan. How are you going to get there? If you’re going to create the life you want to live, you need to put clear steps in place. Baby steps are okay too! Set small and workable goals. Follow up each of these goals with a timeframe of when you want to complete it. If you keep saying that you want to quit your job but you never set a time to do this, it’s easy to keep putting it off. By planning, you are setting yourself up for success!
5. Dedicate the Time
After planning the time, now you need to actually put in the time.
Each day, dedicate the time to creating the life that you are wanting to live. If the life you want to live involves having a healthy lifestyle, plan and dedicate an hour every day to the gym or a couple hours on Sundays for meal prepping. If your goal is to build a greater relationship with your children maybe that’s taking an extra half hour in the morning to read with them or play with them.
It’s so hard to find the time. It helps to make time by taking away from distractions like scrolling through social media or watching mindless TV. It’s all about prioritizing and making a point to do what really matters to you. It is definitely easier said than done.
6. Take Risks & Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
When you identify what you want, especially if it seems really ambitious and out there, it can be scary. It really can! It means putting in a lot of time, making sacrifices, and being vulnerable. It’s easy in these cases to worry about failing, or making all these changes and still being unhappy. Even worse, you may fear that you will become even more unsatisfied then you are now.
That leaves two options and only you can decide what to do. Option 1 is to remain the same. Maybe this means settling or maybe just dealing with the what ifs. What if you had done it and it worked out? How would your life be different if you had applied for your dream job when there was an opening or had moved abroad for a year. If you’re not living a life you love, it’s easy to think about the what ifs. Option 2 is to take that chance. Seems bold? You may discover that taking the chance has led to the life you’ve wanted. You have to let go of fear in making this decision.
Understand though that most everyone doesn’t have it figured out! Even if they look like it, they might be fighting that internal battle between the life they’ve been wanting to create and the one they’re living now. It’s just that if you’re on the outside looking in, it can be hard to see.
If you feel like you’re going through a quarter-life crisis or just want to add some perspective on this, check out this TEDx!
7. Mindset is Everything
Having a positive attitude can translate into successes or determination to succeed. There are always going to be setbacks in life. There will be trial and error too. How you deal with negative results can affect your future.
If something doesn’t work, you can give up completely or you can think of it in a positive light. In a positive light you realize hey, this didn’t work but I learned something from this experience and can try something different now. Maybe the next way works out for you, maybe it doesn’t. It’s a process and it can be frustrating, so going into the process with the right mindset can be so impactful.
8. Be Intentional
Living unintentionally is that feeling of drifting through life and not feeling like you have control. It’s not knowing a purpose or a reason. By creating the life you want, you are living intentionally. It means going out and seeking that passion, purpose, or happiness.
There are lots of ways to live consciously and intentionally, but by being present and in the moment and knowing how your actions affect other aspects of your life are just a few ways. It’s amazing how small daily actions can add up to create either amazing or detrimental effects.
Plan for your ideal day every day and try to work for it. Instead of dreading when Monday rolls around, intentionally create a life where you look forward to each and every day.
In the end, it’s really up to you to create the life you want. You can make the decisions for yourself that truly make you happy and you’re the one that can change your mindset.
I hope this was helpful for anyone who was struggling with trying to create the life they want! Let me know in the comments your thoughts and if you have any other ways to create a life you love!
Still wanting to know more about how to create a life you want? Check out these books:
- You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
- Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear
- Girl Code: Unlocking the Secrets to Success, Sanity, and Happiness for the Female Entrepreneur
- Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be
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