8 Ways to Create the Life You Want

It’s easy to get so caught up in everything that you forget the life that you want, isn’t it? You think about what you should do, what others want you to do, what you need to do. Today, however, I’m here to let you know that it’s okay to be an advocate for yourself! I want to help you create the life you WANT.

I’m not here to tell you how to live your life. But, if you’re feeling trapped and this isn’t the life you envisioned then this is for you! The change really starts with yourself. You’re in charge of your future, your happiness, the life you’ve created. If something isn’t how you want it to be, then it’s within your power to change that. You could wait for your “perfect life” to fall into your lap, but that might not happen. It’s not that it couldn’t happen, it’s just that if really want something, then you should go get it. Here are 10 ways to create the life you want:

1. Envision the life you WANT

What is the life that you want? Everyone has a different picture in their mind! If you’re not sure what you’re wanting, take the time to think about what makes you happy and how that is translating into your everyday life.

Maybe something used to make you happy, but now it’s time to change directions. It’s totally possible to have a passion fizzle out. Maybe you really enjoyed taking nature photography and now you’re just doing it to the pay the bills. Sure nature photography may have really made you happy at first, but people change. If you’re not feeling the spark of passion or creativity that initially attracted and excited you and you’re dreading every moment of it now, maybe it’s time for a change.

Don’t let the identity that you’ve created for yourself thus far trap you in your ways. You can reinvent yourself no matter your age or history. You can always pursue new paths and discover new passions.

2. Be Ready to Defend Your Decisions

The people you love in your life, of course, want the best for you. You may even be concerned about what other people in the world are going to think. If during your reflecting you’ve realized that the life you want involves making a bold decision like quitting your salary job, you may get some backlash. Even doing something as relatively small as starting a side-hustle or moving to somewhere new can spark concern in others.

If you’re feeling stuck and you want to break free, you should really focus on yourself. It may sound selfish, but living your life according to how others think you should is not the path to happiness. Following the path others think you should take can also lead to miss opportunities, regrets, and even resentment.

Trust in your decisions. Know that these concerns that others have are because they have your best interest in mind. Some of these concerns may even valid, but they don’t need to control the future course of your life. They don’t have to stop you from seeking what you really desire.

3. Don’t let the past determine your future

Your past decisions don’t have to determine your future. You can always start over! Like I said in 1, reinventing yourself is possible and can even be beneficial. You could discover something you’re really good at, or passionate about, or that really connects with other people. If you let your past failures or successes determine what you do in the future, you could miss out on some amazing opportunities.

Instead, fuel the fire of now. What sparks your passion right now? Find what makes you happy and motivated and then add more of it into your life every day. Keep your momentum and determination to create the life you want going and don’t forget your goals.

4. Plan How to Get There

When you know what your goal is and what makes you happy, it’s time to plan. How are you going to get there? If you’re going to create the life you want to live, you need to put clear steps in place. Baby steps are okay too! Set small and workable goals. Follow up each of these goals with a timeframe of when you want to complete it. If you keep saying that you want to quit your job but you never set a time to do this, it’s easy to keep putting it off. By planning, you are setting yourself up for success!

5. Dedicate the Time

After planning the time, now you need to actually put in the time.

Each day, dedicate the time to creating the life that you are wanting to live. If the life you want to live involves having a healthy lifestyle, plan and dedicate an hour every day to the gym or a couple hours on Sundays for meal prepping. If your goal is to build a greater relationship with your children maybe that’s taking an extra half hour in the morning to read with them or play with them.

It’s so hard to find the time. It helps to make time by taking away from distractions like scrolling through social media or watching mindless TV. It’s all about prioritizing and making a point to do what really matters to you. It is definitely easier said than done.

6. Take Risks & Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

When you identify what you want, especially if it seems really ambitious and out there, it can be scary. It really can! It means putting in a lot of time, making sacrifices, and being vulnerable. It’s easy in these cases to worry about failing, or making all these changes and still being unhappy. Even worse, you may fear that you will become even more unsatisfied then you are now.

That leaves two options and only you can decide what to do. Option 1 is to remain the same. Maybe this means settling or maybe just dealing with the what ifs. What if you had done it and it worked out? How would your life be different if you had applied for your dream job when there was an opening or had moved abroad for a year. If you’re not living a life you love, it’s easy to think about the what ifs. Option 2 is to take that chance. Seems bold? You may discover that taking the chance has led to the life you’ve wanted. You have to let go of fear in making this decision.

Understand though that most everyone doesn’t have it figured out! Even if they look like it, they might be fighting that internal battle between the life they’ve been wanting to create and the one they’re living now. It’s just that if you’re on the outside looking in, it can be hard to see.

If you feel like you’re going through a quarter-life crisis or just want to add some perspective on this, check out this TEDx!

7. Mindset is Everything

Having a positive attitude can translate into successes or determination to succeed. There are always going to be setbacks in life. There will be trial and error too. How you deal with negative results can affect your future.

If something doesn’t work, you can give up completely or you can think of it in a positive light. In a positive light you realize hey, this didn’t work but I learned something from this experience and can try something different now. Maybe the next way works out for you, maybe it doesn’t. It’s a process and it can be frustrating, so going into the process with the right mindset can be so impactful.

8. Be Intentional

Living unintentionally is that feeling of drifting through life and not feeling like you have control. It’s not knowing a purpose or a reason. By creating the life you want, you are living intentionally. It means going out and seeking that passion, purpose, or happiness.

There are lots of ways to live consciously and intentionally, but by being present and in the moment and knowing how your actions affect other aspects of your life are just a few ways. It’s amazing how small daily actions can add up to create either amazing or detrimental effects.

Plan for your ideal day every day and try to work for it. Instead of dreading when Monday rolls around, intentionally create a life where you look forward to each and every day.

Final Thoughts

In the end, it’s really up to you to create the life you want. You can make the decisions for yourself that truly make you happy and you’re the one that can change your mindset.

I hope this was helpful for anyone who was struggling with trying to create the life they want! Let me know in the comments your thoughts and if you have any other ways to create a life you love!

Still wanting to know more about how to create a life you want? Check out these books:

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44 Comments

  1. January 23, 2019 / 2:15 am

    Great post. I love that you have reminded people to plan and put the work in. I get so frustrated with the posts that just focus on the vision/manifesting aspect. You still have to put the work in 🙂 thanks for the motivation. Rach

    https://rachaelhope.co.uk/

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      January 25, 2019 / 6:23 am

      Thanks for the read Rach! Putting in the work is the most important part 🙂

  2. January 24, 2019 / 8:55 pm

    Great tips. I think being intentional is so important. I try to look on the positive side of things and it really does help a lot.

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      January 25, 2019 / 6:25 am

      I’ve been working on being intentional so much more the last couple years. It makes such a difference in the direction your life is going! Thanks for the read, Becky!

  3. January 24, 2019 / 10:50 pm

    Ooof, being ready to defend your decisions is so true. I just recently had to do a bunch of that. These are really great tips! 🙂

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      January 25, 2019 / 6:27 am

      It’s so surprising how much we have to defend our decisions sometime! I think it’s cause for even more celebration after succeeding, though!

  4. Kiara
    January 25, 2019 / 12:20 am

    Being intentional for me is so important. I struggle with all-or-nothing thinking. So I focus on balance and being intentional with my time when I have breaks and feel motivated to get something done. Love your thoughts behind envisioning the life you want!

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      January 25, 2019 / 6:31 am

      Thanks, Kiara! Hope you create the life you want! 🙂

  5. January 25, 2019 / 2:46 am

    #2 and #3 are spot on! Thank you for the encouragement.

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      January 25, 2019 / 6:28 am

      Thanks for the read, Margaret!

  6. January 25, 2019 / 3:53 am

    I love that you have a point planning. We have to plan to make things happen and become prepared for whatever could come our way! Keep the positive attitude going, your blog is beautiful(:

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      January 25, 2019 / 6:32 am

      Some people can do really good without planning but the cautious introvert in me would freak! Thanks, Kelsey! I love your blog as well. 🙂

  7. January 25, 2019 / 4:56 am

    I think too often (at least in my generation) people just drift along and are surprised at where they end up. I really like the idea of creating a life I want instead of just hoping it will happen.

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      January 25, 2019 / 6:29 am

      Yes! It so easy to drift and just settle for wherever you land. Sometimes I wish I was like that but ideas just bounce around in my head all the time. I think I would have so many “what ifs” if I was like that! Thanks for the read, Beth!

  8. Stephanie
    January 25, 2019 / 6:32 pm

    Excuse me while I just sit over here behind my computer screen applauding. This is excellent! I’m so motivated now to get out there and continue pursuing my dreams!

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      January 27, 2019 / 6:04 pm

      Thanks Stephanie!! Hope you kick ass on all those dreams! 🙂

  9. January 27, 2019 / 6:08 pm

    I’m going through it now. Definitely out here creating my life. And hopefully, a good one for my family as well! #salute

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      January 27, 2019 / 6:47 pm

      Yes! Always take charge! I hope good things come your way!

  10. January 28, 2019 / 4:46 pm

    Great post! The biggest one for me is not letting the past define the future. I have to work on that every. single. day! Thanks for the tips!

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      February 6, 2019 / 6:07 am

      Glad this post could help, Olivia! 🙂

  11. January 28, 2019 / 5:56 pm

    BE READY TO DEFEND YOUR DECISIONS! This is such a huge part of building your life. Especially when family might not always understand why you’re doing what you do. Having a good reason allows you to be intentional as well.

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      February 6, 2019 / 6:08 am

      YEA! It’s something I fight really hard to do even though it can be difficult when your support network has doubts!

  12. January 28, 2019 / 8:01 pm

    Love this post! I really need to take a second and regroup to analyze my goals and future. Thanks!!

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      February 6, 2019 / 6:08 am

      Thanks for the read, Sam! 🙂

  13. January 28, 2019 / 10:17 pm

    I think defending your decisions is super important, even though it’s sad that we actually have to defend and explain ourselves.

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      February 6, 2019 / 6:08 am

      Right?! It’s all about doing it for ourselves thought! 🙂

  14. January 28, 2019 / 11:10 pm

    Love, love, love this post! I am ALL about creating and editing your life as specifically – and often – as you please. It’s YOUR life after all, and no one can tell you how to live it but YOU! ?

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      February 6, 2019 / 6:10 am

      YAS! Thanks Indya!

  15. January 29, 2019 / 1:43 am

    This is super helpful. Love all the points that you made. Thank you for breaking down the steps.

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      February 6, 2019 / 6:10 am

      Thanks for the read, Kelley! 🙂

  16. January 29, 2019 / 3:08 am

    I really enjoyed the thoughtfulness of this post, Maddie! It’s so key to plan, take risks, and be intentional. And dedicating time to goals makes all the difference.

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      February 6, 2019 / 6:11 am

      Thanks for the read, Sarah! Hope you create the life you want! 🙂

  17. January 29, 2019 / 5:35 am

    This is such a great list. It’s hard to pick which tip was my favorite but I really liked, “BE READY TO DEFEND YOUR DECISIONS”. Great post!

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      February 6, 2019 / 6:12 am

      Yes! It’s so important 🙂

  18. January 29, 2019 / 11:14 pm

    I totally agree with you. Mindset is really everything when it comes to creating the life we want. We have to do keep our mind on our goal and have a positive outlook.

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      February 6, 2019 / 6:13 am

      A positive outlook can make all the difference! 🙂

  19. January 30, 2019 / 3:15 am

    This is an amazing post! I’m definitely working toward creating my best life in 2019 and loved these reminders on steps to take on the right path this year. Thanks so much for the great read!
    xo

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      February 6, 2019 / 6:14 am

      Thanks, Bri! I see you out there working on creating your best life and I’m allllll for it! You go girl 🙂

  20. January 30, 2019 / 2:27 pm

    I love this post! Such good tips and things I should definitely think through and start working on in my life.

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      February 6, 2019 / 6:11 am

      Hope you create the life you want, Eliza! 🙂

  21. January 30, 2019 / 5:37 pm

    Great post! I love how you’ve broken it down to make it easier to think through and then take action.

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      February 6, 2019 / 6:10 am

      Thanks, Shani!

  22. February 24, 2019 / 2:27 pm

    This is so spot on! I think so many people want to live the life the see on social media, but we don’t realize the truth behind photos. I think that having the right mindset and living intentionally is most important to me because they really reflect that internal conversation you need to have with yourself, and not so much comparing yourself to others. Thanks so much for sharing!

    • maddiemdeer
      Author
      February 25, 2019 / 4:45 am

      I loved reading your comment, Erin! It’s so true that so many people want to live the life they see on social media. We can all be victims of this because it’s so easy to get trapped in the ‘perfect life’ facade!

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